Heritage in the Shadows: The Day of the Dead in the UK

There is a curious, almost eerie serendipity in the turning of the seasons, particularly in the gentle embrace of autumn, when the days grow shorter, and the world around us seems to slip into hues of crimson and gold. For most, this is the season of Halloween, a time for whimsical costumes and pumpkin-adorned doorsteps. Yet, for me, the depths of my soul resonate with anticipation for something else entirely — the Mexican Day of the Dead. A hauntingly beautiful tradition unknown to many in the United Kingdom, this celebration has evolved from an annual rite into a deeply personal connection with my heritage.

Unveiling the Heritage:

The juxtaposition of my predominantly British appearance with my Mexican ancestry is a perplexing paradox that has frequently left those I encounter with a quizzical pause. The revelation of my Mexican roots, shrouded in unexpectedness, often births a comment framed in disbelief: "You don't look Mexican." It is a silent reminder of the broader truth that heritage, unlike the superficial aesthetics, is a nuanced tapestry of stories, traditions, and experiences. It need not be worn visibly; its essence resides within, threading through the very core of one's identity.

A Tale of Two Celebrations:

Within the fabric of British culture, Halloween has long been a celebrated spectacle. Yet, for me, it is the Mexican Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos, that casts its enchantment. This is not merely a matter of choice but one of deep-seated, perhaps surprising, heritage. My Mexican lineage, though imperceptible upon first glance, exists as a profound part of my identity, a part that has breathed life into this enchanting tradition.

Of Hidden Gems and Obscurities:

In the UK, the Day of the Dead is more an enigma than a commonplace occurrence. In a landscape painted with Halloween's vibrant brush strokes, the subtle and intricate tapestry of the Day of the Dead often goes unnoticed. Marigold petals, fragrant incense, and solemn candlelight do not commonly adorn British streets. The celebration, deeply woven into the Mexican cultural fabric, remains virtually unknown in Britain. It is within this obscurity that my mission unfolds, one of spreading awareness about a celebration that has been an integral part of my heritage.

Awakening the Unknown:

Yet, this obscurity conceals a world of extraordinary beauty and cultural depth. The Day of the Dead is not solely a commemoration of the departed; it is a celebration of life itself, an acknowledgement of the eternal cycle of existence. With marigold petals, incense, and photographs, I construct altars that reflect this rich heritage, connecting me to a part of my identity I treasure.

Heritage, Observed:

Halloween, despite its vivid allure, pales in comparison to the depth of meaning found in the Day of the Dead. It is a bridge to my heritage, an homage to the vibrant Mexican culture that resides within me, even if its roots aren't immediately evident. As autumn winds rustle marigold petals and the candlelight flickers upon my altar, I, a bearer of Mexican lineage in unexpected form, celebrate the Day of the Dead. In doing so, I have found a deeper connection with the rhythms of life and death, and in its obscurity, I have unearthed a heritage worth preserving and sharing.

Forgotten Musicians and Lost Media

 I used to be a musician. A pretty good one, too. I had a record deal, I toured all over the country, and I had a few songs that made it onto the radio. But then, things changed. My record label dropped me, my band broke up, and I faded into obscurity.

It's been a few years now since I've released any new music, and I'm starting to feel like a forgotten musician. No one knows my name. No one cares about my music. It's like I never existed.

But I did exist. And I made music. And that music is still out there somewhere.

The problem is, most of my back catalogue is unavailable. My record label went bankrupt a few years ago, and all of my masters were lost. So, if you want to hear my music, you have to track down old physical copies of my albums or singles. And even those are hard to find.

Which is why I consider myself to be borderline lost media. My music is still out there, but it's buried deep in the obscurity. And if no one seeks it out, it will eventually disappear forever.

I know that I'm not the only forgotten musician out there. There are countless other artists whose music has been lost or forgotten. And that's a tragedy.

Because music is important. It's a part of our culture. It's a way to express ourselves and to connect with others. And it's something that should be preserved for future generations.

So, if you're a fan of lost media, or if you're just curious to hear some music from a forgotten musician, I encourage you to seek out my music. You may be surprised at what you find.

And if you do find my music, please share it with others. Help to keep it alive. Help to prevent it from disappearing forever.

Thank you. 

Barnaby J. Tremayne.

How To Reinvent Yourself - a guide

Reinventing yourself is the process of making significant changes to your life, such as your career, relationships, lifestyle, or mindset. It can be a daunting task, but it is also an opportunity to create a life that is more fulfilling and aligned with your true values.

If you are considering reinventing yourself, here are some steps you can take:

1. Reflect on your current life. What are you happy with? What are you not happy with? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your values and passions? Once you have a better understanding of yourself, you can start to think about what you want to change.

2. Identify your goals. What do you want to achieve in your reinvention? Do you want to change your career, start your own business, improve your relationships, or something else? Once you know what you want to achieve, you can start to make a plan.

3. Create a plan. Your plan should include specific steps you need to take to achieve your goals. It should also include a timeline for when you want to achieve your goals.

4. Take action. This is the hardest part, but it is the most important. Once you have a plan, you need to start taking action. This may involve making big changes, such as quitting your job or starting a new business, or smaller changes, such as learning a new skill or changing your habits.

5. Be patient and persistent. Reinventing yourself takes time and effort. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately. Just keep working at it, and eventually you will reach your goals.

Here are some specific things you can try as you reinvent yourself:

1. Start a new hobby or interest. This is a great way to learn new things, meet new people, and expand your horizons.

2. Take a class or workshop. This is a great way to learn new skills that can help you in your career or personal life.

3. Volunteer or travel. Volunteering and traveling are great ways to give back to your community and experience new things.

4. Network with people in your desired field. This is a great way to learn about new opportunities and meet people who can help you achieve your goals.

5. Seek professional help. If you are struggling to reinvent yourself on your own, consider working with a therapist or coach.

Reasons to reinvent yourself:

There are many reasons why you might want to reinvent yourself. Here are a few:

1. You are unhappy with your current life. If you are unhappy with your career, relationships, lifestyle, or mindset, reinventing yourself can be a way to create a more fulfilling life.

2. You have changed. As we grow older and experience more, we change. Our values, passions, and goals may also change. Reinventing yourself is a way to align your life with your current self.

3. You want to achieve your goals. If you have goals that you have not yet achieved, reinventing yourself can be a way to get on track.

4. You want to live a more authentic life. Reinventing yourself is a way to create a life that is more aligned with your true values and passions.

If you are considering reinventing yourself, remember that it is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs along the way, but it is important to stay focused on your goals and to be patient and persistent.

Creativity: A Path to Wellness and Self-Discovery

 In the tapestry of human existence, creativity is a vibrant thread that weaves together the colours of imagination, passion, and self-expression. It is a force that transcends boundaries, defies limitations, and has the power to heal the mind and body. This journey into the world of creativity is a path worth exploring, and for individuals on the autism spectrum, it can be a particularly transformative and liberating experience.

The Creative Connection: A Universal Language:

Creativity is not bound by language, age, or circumstance. It is a universal language that speaks to the very core of our being. Whether it's painting, writing, music, dance, or any other form of artistic expression, creativity offers a sanctuary where individuals can escape the confines of daily life and find solace in their unique perspectives.

Unlocking the Benefits of Creativity:

The benefits of embracing creativity are manifold, impacting not only mental well-being but also physical health. Here's how creativity can be a source of healing and transformation:

1. Stress Reduction: Engaging in creative activities has been shown to reduce stress levels. Whether it's the rhythmic strokes of a paintbrush, the flow of words on a page, or the harmony of music, these creative outlets can act as powerful stress relievers.

2. Enhanced Self-Expression: For individuals on the autism spectrum, who, like me, may sometimes find it challenging to convey their thoughts and emotions verbally, creativity provides an alternative means of self-expression. Art, in its myriad forms, allows individuals to communicate their inner worlds with depth and clarity.

3. Emotional Resilience: The creative process often involves navigating challenges and setbacks. This builds emotional resilience and the ability to persevere in the face of adversity, which can be especially valuable for individuals with autism.

4. Increased Self-Confidence: As one hones their creative skills and witnesses the tangible results of their efforts, self-confidence naturally grows. This newfound confidence can extend beyond the creative realm into other aspects of life.

5. A Gateway to Mindfulness: Engaging in creative activities often leads to a state of mindfulness, where individuals are fully present in the moment. This practice can be calming and grounding, offering respite from anxiety or sensory overload.

6. Sense of Achievement: Completing a creative project, whether it's a painting, a poem, or a musical composition, provides a profound sense of achievement. This feeling of accomplishment can boost self-esteem and foster a sense of purpose.

Creativity Knows No Labels:

One of the remarkable aspects of creativity is its inclusivity. It knows no labels or preconceived notions. It is a sanctuary where everyone, regardless of neurodiversity, can find refuge, meaning, and a sense of belonging. For individuals on the autism spectrum, creativity offers not only an outlet for self-expression but also a bridge to connect with others who appreciate their unique perspectives.

Embrace Your Creative Journey

In embracing creativity, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. It is a journey that allows us to celebrate our differences, harness our strengths, and find beauty in the tapestry of our lives. So, whether you're painting a canvas, composing a symphony, writing a story, or engaging in any form of creative expression, remember that you are not alone on this journey. Your creativity has the power to transform not only your own life but also the lives of those fortunate enough to witness your artistic journey. In creativity, we find healing, connection, and a profound sense of well-being.

Boost your creativity and cure your boredom at the same time

 Boredom is a universal human experience. We all feel it from time to time, regardless of our age, interests, or lifestyle. But while boredom can be unpleasant, it can also be an opportunity to try new things, learn new skills, and expand our horizons.

Here is a list of ideas for things to do when you're bored: 

1. Have a tea party with your stuffed animals. Invite them to a formal tea party and serve them tiny cups of tea and biscuits. You can even dress up in your fanciest clothes for the occasion.

2. Go for a walk in the park while wearing a blindfold. This is a great way to experience your surroundings in a new and different way. Just be careful not to trip over anything!

3. Try to write a poem using only words that start with the letter "E." This is a challenging but fun activity that will get your creative juices flowing.

4. Build a fort out of blankets and pillows in your living room. Then, crawl inside and have a picnic lunch.

5. Give yourself a makeover using only makeup that you find in your trash can. This is a great way to test your creativity and see what kind of look you can come up with.

6. Have a dance party with your pets. Put on some music and dance around like nobody's watching. Your pets will probably enjoy it too!

7. Try to balance a spoon on your nose for as long as possible. This is a surprisingly difficult task, but it's also a lot of fun.

8. Write a letter to your future self. Tell them all about your life today and what you hope to achieve in the future. Then, seal the letter and put it away somewhere safe. You can open it up in a few years and see how your life has changed.

9. Try to eat a bowl of cereal without using your hands. This is a messy but fun challenge that will test your coordination.

10. Have a conversation with your reflection in the mirror. Ask them questions about their life and see what they say. You might be surprised at what you learn!

11. Try to juggle three oranges. This is a classic circus skill that is surprisingly difficult to master. But with enough practice, you'll be able to do it!

12. Have a staring contest with your pet. See who can last the longest without blinking.

13. Have a karaoke night.

14. Learn a new dance.

15. Take a nap.

The possibilities are endless! So next time you're bored, don't despair. Use it as an opportunity to explore your interests and discover new things.

No matter what you choose to do, make sure it's something that you enjoy and that makes you feel good. Boredom is a temporary state, so make the most of it!

Have fun.

Need a challenge? Here's 24 things to try

 Feeling bored? Need a challenge to mix things up? Look no further! Here is a list of fun and challenging activities that you can try. These activities are sure to get your creative juices flowing and help you to see the world in a new and different way.

Some of these activities are challenging, while others are simply fun and silly. But all of them are sure to keep you entertained. So what are you waiting for? Start exploring this list and find the perfect activity for you!

1. Touch your toes without bending your knees.

2. Walk through a wall.

3. Square the circle.

4. Divide by zero.

5. Travel faster than the speed of light.

6. Create a perpetual motion machine.

7. Find the prime number greater than all other prime numbers.

8. List all the natural numbers in order.

9. Write a program that can halt any given program.

10. Prove that there are an infinite number of prime numbers.

11. Prove that Goldbach's conjecture is true.

12. Prove that the Riemann hypothesis is true.

13. Make a pig fly.

14. Make a fish climb a tree.

15. Make a rock float.

16. Teach a dog to speak Spanish (unless it already speaks Spanish. In this case teach it Danish).

17. Find a needle in a haystack.

18. Get a genie out of a bottle.

19. Put toothpaste back in the tube.

20. Un-ring a bell.

21. Close the barn door after the horses have bolted.

22. Make the Titanic unsink.

23. Put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

24. Find out who let the dogs out.

Good luck!

The Gift of Presence: Discovering Joy with My Nieces

 In the quiet embrace of my nieces, I discovered a revelation, an unexpected reservoir of joy that transcended the ordinary rhythms of life. It was a revelation that emanated from their unadulterated innocence, and in their presence, I found solace—a solace that harked back to a time when the world seemed less complicated, less tangled.

As an uncle, I stepped into a role I assumed would be defined by shared moments of laughter and play, unaware of the profound impact it would have on my very being. Their arrival was heralded by a symphony of light, and with it, the promise of moments that would imprint indelible marks on my heart.

Together, we ventured into uncharted territories, transforming the mundane into magic. A mere walk in the park transformed into an expedition, a hunt for fairies and castles where only clouds and leaves existed. In their company, I found myself swept away by their boundless enthusiasm, free to indulge in the whimsy of childhood without reservation.

Yet, beyond the realm of enchantment, I encountered a deeper wisdom, a wisdom that radiated from their unfettered view of the world. In their eyes, rainbows spilled into puddles, butterflies wove poetic dances in the air, and the sound of raindrops became a symphony of melody. They had a way of looking at the world that breathed life into the ordinary, and in their presence, I found myself tethered to the present, unburdened by the weight of past regrets and future anxieties.

In those unguarded moments of vulnerability, I realized that the profoundest form of acceptance was being witnessed through their eyes. They accepted me wholly, with a love that required no justification or achievement. It was a love that flowed without restraint, a love that transcended all flaws and imperfections.

In their presence, I discovered the art of presence itself—the art of living in the moment, of relishing the joyous now. Their laughter echoed like a melodic chorus, and in those fleeting moments, I learned to savour the gift of love freely given.

As their uncle, I found myself on a journey of self-discovery, a journey that forced me to confront the world with a newfound vulnerability. They mirrored my own vulnerabilities, and in that profound reflection, I realised the power of presence. A presence that was comforting, a presence that bestowed solace.

In the fleeting laughter and shared tears, I recognised the essence of life's fleeting beauty, its ephemeral grace. In their eyes, I glimpsed a world untamed, with endless horizons waiting to be explored—a world brimming with boundless possibilities.

In their presence, I found a light that revealed the magic of life—an unexpected affirmation of its beauty. They taught me to marvel at the simplest of things, to embrace the beauty that lies within each fleeting moment.

Through the eyes of my nieces, I was reminded of life's transformative power—the power to bring solace, to inspire laughter, and to foster boundless love. Their presence awakened in me a profound appreciation for the beauty of life, a beauty that shone through their innocent eyes, casting its spell upon all who were fortunate enough to bask in its radiance.

On Embracing Creativity: A Personal Journey

 There is an allure, an undeniable pull, to the realm of creativity. It is a world that exists beyond the boundaries of the mundane, where imagination knows no limits and possibilities abound. For me, embracing creativity has been an odyssey of self-discovery, a means to navigate the labyrinthine corridors of my own mind.

I find myself reflecting on the essence of creativity, seeking solace in the act of creation. There is an undeniable allure to the blank page, its emptiness inviting me to fill it with my thoughts, my emotions, my very essence. It is a dance, a delicate interplay between vulnerability and courage, as I confront the fear of exposing my innermost self to the world.

In this journey, I have come to understand that creativity is not reserved for the select few. It is not a privilege bestowed upon the chosen, but rather an inherent human quality waiting to be awakened. It is the birthright of every individual, an innate ability to shape, mould, and bring forth something entirely unique.

Yet, embracing creativity requires a certain surrender, a willingness to let go of preconceived notions and self-imposed limitations. It demands that I silence the inner critic, that relentless voice of doubt and self-judgement. To truly embrace creativity, I have learned to silence that voice, to let go of the fear of failure, and to trust in the process.

Creativity is a journey of exploration, a venture into uncharted territories. It is a constant dialogue between intuition and intellect, a delicate balance of spontaneity and thoughtful reflection. It is in those moments of surrender, when I relinquish control and allow myself to be carried away by the creative flow, that true magic happens.

In the act of creation, I find solace, a sanctuary where the chaos of the world recedes, and I am left with a sense of clarity. It is a meditative state, a catharsis that allows me to make sense of the swirling thoughts and emotions within. Through the strokes of a brush, the tapping of keys, or the melodies that find their way through my voice, I am able to express what words alone cannot capture.

Embracing creativity has taught me the beauty of imperfection. It is in the smudged lines, the discarded drafts, and the experimental brush strokes that I find the true essence of my creative self. It is an acceptance of the process, the recognition that mistakes and detours are not hindrances but stepping stones on the path to discovery.

In this ongoing journey, I have come to understand that creativity is not confined to the realm of art alone. It is woven into the fabric of our lives, permeating every aspect of our existence. Whether it is in the act of cooking a meal, arranging flowers, or simply finding a new perspective in everyday routines, creativity is omnipresent.

Embracing creativity is a lifelong commitment, a dedication to embracing the unknown, to continually exploring and expanding the boundaries of our own imagination. It is a testament to the ever-evolving nature of the human spirit, a reminder that within each of us lies a wellspring of untapped potential.

So, I invite you, dear reader, to embark on your own journey of embracing creativity. Release the shackles of self-doubt, silence the inner critic, and allow your imagination to soar. Embrace the unknown, for it is in those uncharted territories that the true magic of creation awaits. Together, let us revel in the transformative power of embracing our creative selves.

On the Periphery of Perception: A Meditative Exploration of Painting Walls

There is something eerily mesmerising about the act of painting walls—a silent meditation that weaves threads of transformation and introspection. As I stand before a bare expanse of white, brush in hand, I am transported into a realm where time slows, thoughts dissolve, and the physicality of the task takes center stage. It is in this realm that I find solace, a momentary respite from the chaos of the outside world. I invite you to accompany me on a reflective journey, delving into the nuances and revelations that arise from the seemingly mundane act of painting walls.

The process begins with careful preparation, an intricate dance of masking tape and drop cloths. Each step, each measured stroke, carries intention and purpose. As I dip the brush into the pale hue, my mind drifts into a state of suspended animation. The familiar scent of paint wafts through the air, mingling with memories of past endeavors. It evokes a certain nostalgia, reminding me of countless rooms transformed, identities reshaped, and emotions laid bare.

There is a certain vulnerability that arises when faced with a blank canvas—a blank wall awaiting the touch of color and imagination. It becomes a mirror, reflecting back the layers of my psyche. I am confronted with my desires for change, for reinvention, and the simultaneous fear of exposing my innermost self. The walls become a metaphorical threshold, a liminal space where the external and internal converge.

As the first brushstroke meets the surface, the energy of creation reverberates through my veins. It is as if I am participating in an ancient ritual—a quiet collaboration between artist and environment. The paint becomes an extension of my being, manifesting the colours of my emotions onto the walls. In each stroke, I release fragments of my past, layers of experiences, and embrace the freedom to recreate my surroundings.

The act of painting walls becomes an act of reclaiming space—of establishing ownership and asserting my presence. With each coat, the room undergoes a metamorphosis, shedding its previous identity and embracing a new narrative. The walls bear witness to this transformation, silently holding the stories and emotions imprinted upon them. They become a testament to the impermanence of our lives, a reminder that everything is transient, and beauty can be found in the transient nature of existence.

Amidst the repetitive motion of brush against wall, my mind wanders, traversing the corridors of memory and contemplation. I find myself questioning the constructs that define us—the invisible boundaries and societal expectations that shape our perceptions. Just as the walls confine and separate, they also have the power to liberate and unify. They carry the weight of history, collective memories, and the echoes of those who have walked before us.

In the solitude of this act, I discover a sense of agency—a reclaiming of control over my environment and, by extension, my own narrative. The walls become a canvas upon which I can project my hopes, dreams, and aspirations. They serve as a reminder that, despite the chaotic world beyond, there exists a space where I can shape my reality, one brushstroke at a time.

And so, as the final stroke completes the symphony of colours, I step back and witness the fruits of my labor. The walls now breathe with new life, infused with my intentions and a profound sense of accomplishment. In this moment, I realise that painting walls is not merely a superficial act of decoration; it is a profound exercise in self-discovery and expression.

Joan Didion once wrote, "We tell ourselves stories in order to live." And as I stand amidst the freshly painted walls, I am reminded that we also paint our walls in order to live. It is an act of self-definition, a tangible manifestation of our desires, fears, and dreams. It is a testament to our resilience, our innate need to create and leave our mark upon the world.

In the periphery of perception, in the stillness between brush strokes, we find ourselves. We are the artists of our own existence, and through the act of painting walls, we reveal the intricate tapestry of our souls—one layer, one colour at a time.

The Secrets of Past Life Regression: Unlocking the Mysteries Within

Have you ever felt a strong sense of familiarity with a place or person you've never encountered before? Or perhaps you've experienced unexplained fears or talents that seem to have no basis in your current life. If so, you may find the concept of past life regression intriguing. It's a fascinating technique that delves into the depths of our subconscious, uncovering hidden memories and unlocking the mysteries of our past lives.

So, what exactly is past life regression? It's a therapeutic method that aims to access and explore the memories and experiences from previous lifetimes that may still be influencing our present lives. Through deep relaxation and focused intention, one can tap into these past life memories, gaining insights and understanding that can bring healing, self-awareness, and personal growth.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: Is past life regression real? While the scientific community may have varying opinions, it's important to approach this technique with an open mind and a willingness to explore the realms of possibility. Whether you believe in literal past lives or consider them as metaphors and symbolic representations, past life regression can offer valuable insights into the patterns, behaviors, and emotions that shape our current existence.

One of the most intriguing aspects of past life regression is the idea of unfinished business. It suggests that unresolved experiences from past lives can carry over into our present life, impacting our relationships, fears, and even our physical health. By accessing these past life memories, we have the opportunity to identify and release these energetic imprints, allowing us to move forward with greater clarity, freedom, and personal empowerment.

So, how does one embark on a past life regression journey? It's essential to work with a trained and experienced regression therapist who can guide you through the process with compassion and expertise. They will create a safe and supportive environment, helping you relax deeply and access the memories stored within your subconscious mind.

During a regression session, you may experience vivid images, emotions, and sensations that transport you to another time and place. You might find yourself speaking in different languages, assuming different roles, or reliving significant events. It's important to remember that each person's experience is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to explore your past lives.

The insights gained from past life regression can be incredibly transformative. They can provide a deeper understanding of your relationships, life purpose, and personal challenges. They can also help you tap into your latent talents, passions, and abilities, as you uncover the wisdom and strengths acquired through previous incarnations.

However, it's crucial to approach past life regression with discernment and self-care. Integration and reflection are key aspects of the process. Take time to process and make sense of the experiences and emotions that arise. Journaling, meditation, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can be invaluable as you navigate the revelations and emotions that may emerge.

Ultimately, the secrets of past life regression lie within you. They offer a window into the vast tapestry of your soul's journey, connecting you to the collective wisdom of humanity throughout time. Whether you view it as a metaphorical exploration or a literal journey into past lives, past life regression can be a powerful tool for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

So, if you feel a deep curiosity or a resonance with the idea of past life regression, I encourage you to explore it further. Embrace the mysteries within and embark on a journey of self-exploration that can open doors to a deeper understanding of yourself and the interconnectedness of all existence. Remember, the past holds secrets waiting to be unveiled, and through regression, you have the opportunity to discover and embrace them.

Why I use multiple types of therapy

 Growing up, I always felt like there was something "off" about me. I struggled to make friends, had trouble understanding social cues, and often found myself feeling overwhelmed and anxious in situations that others seemed to handle with ease. It wasn't until my teens that I was finally diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder.

At first, I was hesitant to seek help. I thought that I should be able to handle my issues on my own, and that therapy was something only "crazy" people did. But eventually, I realized that I couldn't keep going on like this. I was barely able to function on a daily basis, and I knew that I needed to do something to take care of myself.

I started off with traditional talk therapy, which helped me to unpack some of the trauma and negative thought patterns that had been holding me back. But as helpful as it was, I found that I needed more. That's when I began exploring other types of therapy and counseling.

I tried cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helped me to identify and challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that were contributing to my depression and anxiety. I also tried art therapy, which allowed me to express myself in ways that I had never been able to before. Through creating art, I was able to tap into emotions that I didn't even know were there, and to work through them in a healthy and constructive way. 

Throughout my journey with therapy and counselling, I also found solace in creating music. Whether it was writing lyrics or picking up an instrument, music allowed me to express emotions that I struggled to put into words. It became a form of therapy in itself, and I found it helpful to incorporate it into my sessions with my therapists. Music gave me a way to communicate what I was feeling without the pressure of articulating it perfectly, and it allowed me to feel a sense of control over my emotions. I found that incorporating music into my therapy helped me to better understand myself and my experiences, and it gave me an outlet to continue to heal even outside of my sessions.

Another form of therapy I found beneficial was group therapy, which gave me the opportunity to connect with other people who were going through similar struggles. It was a relief to know that I wasn't alone in my experiences, and to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with others who understood what I was going through.

All of these forms of therapy, in addition to medication and lifestyle changes, have helped me to manage my depression, anxiety, and autism. Of course, I still have bad days - but they're becoming fewer and farther between. I'm grateful for the support and guidance that therapy has provided me with, and I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

If you're struggling with mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out for help. It can be scary to take that first step, but it's worth it. There are so many different types of therapy and counseling out there, and it's important to find what works best for you. Don't be afraid to try something new - you never know what might make a difference.

Making a logo for a local Community Cafe

I've been asked to make a logo for a local community café. This is what I've got so far. Quite a lot of work to do but I thought someone might like to see it.

Experimenting with Mixed Media Art

 Hey there, friends! Lately, I've been experimenting with mixed media art during my breaks from songwriting, and let me tell you, it's been an exciting and refreshing change of pace.

As a musician, I'm no stranger to the creative process, but I've found that mixing things up and trying something new can really help keep the juices flowing. It's like hitting the reset button on my brain, you know?

I started out by just messing around with some paper, paint, and whatever else I had lying around, but before I knew it, I was hooked. There's just something about the freedom of expression that comes with mixed media art that's incredibly appealing to me.

One of the things I love about mixed media is that there are no real rules. You can combine colours, textures, and materials in any way that speaks to you. It's a wonderful way to let go of perfectionism and just let the creativity flow.

Recently, I've been working on a piece that incorporates paper, paint, and a few old magazine clippings. It's been a fun challenge figuring out how to bring all these different elements together into a cohesive whole. But even if the end result isn't perfect, I know that the process of creating it has been valuable in and of itself.

In fact, I'm already thinking about how I can incorporate some of the techniques and ideas I've learned from mixed media art into my songwriting. Who knows what kind of creative mashups I'll come up with next?

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit about my latest artistic endeavor. And who knows, maybe some of you will be inspired to try out mixed media art for yourselves! After all, you never know what kind of creative magic might happen when you mix things up a bit.

Last Day of FAWM

 As February draws to a close, I find myself looking back on the past month with a mix of exhaustion and pride. For those who don't know, February is also known as FAWM, or February Album Writing Month. The goal is to write 14 songs in 28 days, and I'm happy to say that I made it, just barely.

It was a wild ride, to say the least. There were days when I had no inspiration, and others when I was bursting with ideas. I wrote about love, loss, hope, and everything in between. Some of the songs flowed easily, while others felt like pulling teeth. But through it all, I kept going, determined to reach the end.

Now that FAWM is over, I'm looking forward to the next step: recording an album. I've decided to call it "672 Hours," after the number of hours in February. It's a fitting title, considering how much time and effort went into creating these songs.

But as proud as I am of my accomplishment, I can't help but reflect on the bigger picture. As someone on the autism spectrum, I know all too well the challenges that come with pursuing creative endeavors. Sensory issues, executive dysfunction, and difficulty with social interaction can all make it harder to stay focused and motivated.

But despite these obstacles, I refused to give up. I found ways to work around my difficulties, whether it was taking breaks when I needed them, using noise-cancelling headphones to block out distractions, or asking friends for feedback and support.

And in the end, it was all worth it. The feeling of accomplishment I get from completing a project like this is indescribable. It reminds me that, despite the challenges, I'm capable of achieving great things.

So here's to all the other FAWMers out there who made it to the end, and to anyone else who's pursuing a creative passion. Keep going, even when it feels like you can't. The end result is always worth it.

Autistic Stimming essay

 Stimming is something that's very personal to me as someone with autism. It's the little movements that I make that help me feel calm and focused. Things like rocking back and forth, tapping my fingers, or making odd little noises. These little motions can make such a big difference in how I feel.

For a long time, I didn't know what stimming was or that it was a common trait among autistic people. I just thought that I was weird or that something was wrong with me. So, I tried to suppress my stimming behavior, thinking it would make me more "normal". But the truth is, suppressing my stimming was really harmful to my mental health. It was like trying to hold back a sneeze, and it only made me feel more anxious and overwhelmed.

It wasn't until I learned more about autism and stimming that I realized how important it is to accept this behavior. Stimming is a natural part of who I am, and it's something that helps me regulate my emotions and sensory input. It's a coping mechanism that helps me feel safe and in control.

It's not always easy, though. Sometimes people can be judgemental or misunderstand my stimming behavior. They might think I'm being weird or rude, when really I'm just trying to stay calm and focused. That's why it's so important to educate others about stimming and autism. When people understand why I stim, they're usually more accepting and supportive.

It's been a long journey, but I'm learning to accept and even appreciate my stimming behavior. It's a reminder that I'm different, but that's okay. In fact, it's something to celebrate. Stimming is a part of my identity as an autistic person, and it's just one of the many things that makes me who I am.

Dad Jokes with Thomas Jefferson - made with PrimeVoice AI

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/whrztwOsrGc?feature=share

The Struggles of Being an Independent Musician/Artist

 Being an independent artist sounds amazing on paper, but in reality, it can be a real struggle. Not only do you have to figure out how to make a living from your art, but you also have to build a fanbase. And let me tell you, that's not always easy.

Making a steady income is hard enough, but trying to build a fanbase on top of that? It can feel like a never-ending battle. It can be tough to get your music out there and get people to listen, especially when there's so much competition.

I know what it's like to feel like no one is paying attention to your art. It can be discouraging and make you question whether you're even doing anything right. But here's the thing, building a fanbase takes time and effort. And even the most successful artists have gone through their own struggles.

So, what can you do? Well, for starters, it helps to have a supportive community of fellow artists and fans. Collaborating with other artists and reaching out to your fans can help you get your music heard and grow your following. And even if you're feeling like you're not making any progress, remember that success is a marathon, not a sprint.

Being an independent artist is a journey, and building a fanbase can be one of the biggest challenges. But with persistence, effort, and a little bit of luck, it is possible to overcome these struggles and find success as an independent artist.

Half way through FAWM

 Hello again. I'm midway through the FAWM songwriting challenge, and I have to say, it's been a wild ride. If you're not familiar with FAWM, it's a challenge to write 14 songs in 28 days. And let me tell you, it's not for the faint of heart!

At first, I was feeling pretty intimidated. I mean, coming up with 14 songs in 28 days? That's a lot! And to make matters worse, I was struggling to be creative. But as I started writing, something magical happened. The words just started flowing, and before I knew it, I had written a few songs.

One of the best parts of the FAWM challenge is that it encourages you to experiment and be creative. I've tried new songwriting techniques, written songs in different genres, and even pushed my lyrical boundaries. It's been amazing to see what I can come up with when I let go and just let the creativity flow.

Now, I'm halfway through the challenge and I've written seven songs so far. The next seven are going to be just as challenging, but I'm ready for it. Even though it's been tough at times, I'm so grateful for this experience. It's taught me to embrace the unknown and to always keep pushing myself, even when I'm feeling stuck.

The FAWM songwriting challenge has been an amazing experience so far. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And who knows, maybe by the end of the challenge, I'll have written some of my best songs yet!

Autistic Burnout - what it is and how it feels

 Autistic burnout is a real struggle and something that affects me frustratingly often. It's hard to describe how it feels, but it's like a constant, overwhelming exhaustion that just doesn't seem to go away. I often feel physically and mentally drained, and even the simplest tasks can become impossible to complete.

One of the worst parts about experiencing autistic burnout is the embarrassment that comes along with it. I know that people don't understand what I'm going through and often see me as lazy or unmotivated. It's a frustrating feeling because I want so badly to be able to just snap out of it, but it's not that simple.

Autistic burnout is a result of sensory overload and feeling constantly overwhelmed. It's like my brain just can't keep up with the constant stimulation and it crashes. I try my best to avoid situations that trigger it, but sometimes it just sneaks up on me.

It can be really tough, but I've learned to accept that this is just a part of who I am and that it's okay to need a break. I try to make sure I take the time to recharge, whether it's through self-care or just taking a nap.

If you're experiencing autistic burnout, know that you're not alone. It's important to take care of yourself and not be too hard on yourself. Try to find things that help you relax and give you a break from the constant stimulation. And remember, it's okay to need a break. You're not weak for having this experience, you're just human.

Barnaby J. Tremayne.

I Love Coffee - video version

 

https://youtu.be/fo74aJ83Qqs

I experimented with #primevoice AI audio and FakeYou lip sync generator and ended up with an anime character telling us that they love coffee.

A Quick Guide to Surviving FAWM

 Getting started with FAWM: A Guide to the February Album Writing Month Challenge

February Album Writing Month, or FAWM, is an online community of songwriters and musicians who challenge themselves to write and record 14 new songs in the 28 days of February. Whether you're a seasoned songwriter or just starting out, FAWM is a great opportunity to stretch your creative muscles, collaborate with other musicians, and build your portfolio.

Here are some tips to help you get started with FAWM:

1. Set your goals.

Before you begin, it's important to know what you want to accomplish with FAWM. Do you want to write a certain number of songs? Do you want to experiment with a new genre? Do you want to improve your recording skills? Whatever your goals are, make sure they are specific, measurable, and achievable.

2. Start early.

FAWM can be a busy time, so it's a good idea to start planning and preparing as early as possible. Make a list of songs you want to write, gather your musical instruments and recording gear, and set up a workspace that is conducive to creativity.

3. Collaborate.

FAWM is a great opportunity to collaborate with other musicians, both online and in person. You can join the FAWM forum to find collaborators, share your songs, and receive feedback. You can also attend FAWM events and participate in songwriting challenges to get inspired and meet other musicians.

4. Be flexible.

Songwriting can be unpredictable, and it's important to be flexible and open to change. Don't be afraid to try new things, even if they're outside of your comfort zone. And if a song isn't working out, don't be afraid to move on and try something else.

5. Keep it simple.

Songwriting is about creativity, not technical proficiency. Don't get bogged down by complicated chord progressions or intricate arrangements. Instead, focus on writing a simple melody and lyrics that tell a story. You can always add more instrumentation later.

6. Stay organized.

With 14 songs to write in 28 days, it's important to stay organized. Keep a notebook or digital document with your lyrics and ideas. And when you're ready to record, make sure to label your files and backups.

7. Celebrate your achievements.

Writing and recording 14 songs in 28 days is no small feat. Take the time to celebrate your achievements and share your songs with others. You can upload your songs to the FAWM website, share them on social media, or perform them at a local open mic.

In conclusion, FAWM is a unique and rewarding challenge for songwriters and musicians of all skill levels. Whether you're looking to improve your songwriting, collaborate with others, or build your portfolio, FAWM is a great opportunity to stretch your creative muscles and have fun. So get started early, set your goals, and have fun!

Living with Imposter Syndrome

 Living with imposter syndrome is like constantly feeling like a fraud in your own skin. It's a constant nagging voice that tells you that you're not good enough, that you don't belong and that you will be exposed as a fraud. 

I remember the first time I shared my work online, I felt like I didn't belong and that my art wasn't good enough. But that feeling never really went away. It's been with me through every new project, every performance, and every time someone compliments my work. 

It's not just my art, it's everything. I doubt my abilities in every aspect of my life. It's been hard, it's affected my relationships, my work, everything. I've been afraid to share my work, to take on new projects, because I was convinced I would fail. 

But you know what? I've come to realize that I'm not alone in feeling this way. A lot of people struggle with imposter syndrome. It's not something that can be cured, but it can be managed. I'm learning to be kinder to myself. I remind myself that mistakes are a part of the creative process, and that I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

I've also learned to surround myself with people who support me and believe in me. And I try to focus on my accomplishments, rather than my shortcomings. I remind myself of the times when my art has been positively received, and the times when I've overcome obstacles. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

So, if you're reading this and you feel like a fraud, just know that you're not alone. We all feel like that sometimes. But we can learn to manage it, and that's what really matters.

Why I'm a musician

 Being a musician is more than just a job or hobby for me, it's a need. It's something I just have to do, like breathing. It's how I express myself and make sense of the world.

As someone who's neurodivergent and deals with mental illness, making music is especially important. It's a way for me to take all the feelings and thoughts swirling around in my head and turn them into something real and beautiful. Playing an instrument or singing is like therapy for me, helping me cope with stress and anxiety.

But it's not just about me. Music is a powerful way to connect with others. It's a universal language that can break down barriers of race and culture. When I play a song and people connect with it, it's like we're speaking the same language. It creates this emotional bond between us and it's amazing.

Being a musician also gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I get to share my talents with the world and make a difference in people's lives. Seeing someone's face light up when they hear a song that speaks to them, or watching a crowd sing along to one of my songs, it's indescribable.

Now, I'm not going to lie, it's not always easy. There's rejection and failure, but the need to make music is too strong to ignore. It's a part of me, and I can't be truly happy or fulfilled without it. Plus, making music helps me navigate the challenges of my neurodivergence and mental illness.

All in all, being a musician is more than just a job or hobby for me, it's a need. It's how I express myself, cope with life and connect with others. It gives me purpose and fulfillment and helps me navigate the challenges of my neurodivergence and mental illness.

I'm a comedian... No, seriously

 Being a stand-up comedian is not just about telling jokes on stage, it's about putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, and making people laugh. It's a unique combination of art, entertainment, and bravery. But it's also one of the most challenging and rewarding careers you can have.

For me, it all started with my first job. I was working as a server and always cracking jokes and making my co-workers laugh. One day, a friend suggested I try stand-up comedy, and I thought it would be a fun challenge. I started performing at open mic nights and quickly fell in love with the rush of being on stage. There's nothing like making a room full of strangers laugh.

But stand-up comedy is not just about getting laughs, it's also about the craft. Writing a good joke is hard work and so is writing a good set. And making it all come together on stage is even harder. It's a constant process of writing, rewriting, and refining. And even when you have a great set, you never know how it's going to go over with a live audience. That's the beauty and the fear of stand-up comedy.

It's also a career that requires a thick skin. Not every joke will land, and not every audience will be receptive. You have to be able to handle rejection and criticism. It can also be a lonely job, traveling from city to city, performing for strangers night after night. But when it all comes together, and you have a room full of people laughing and cheering, it's all worth it.

Being a stand-up comedian also taught me a lot about myself, especially when it comes to my mental health and anxiety. Being on stage and having to be funny all the time can be incredibly draining and can take a toll on your mental health. It's important to take care of yourself and be aware of the potential effects on your mental health. For me, I've learned to set boundaries for myself and take time for self-care.

In conclusion, being a stand-up comedian is not for everyone. It's a challenging and demanding career, but it's also one of the most rewarding. It's about putting yourself out there, making people laugh and learning a lot about yourself in the process. But it's also important to remember to take care of yourself and be aware of the potential effects on your mental health.

Why I use humour as a defence mechanism

 Humour has always been my go-to defence mechanism, a way to deal with tough situations and emotions. It's like a superpower that I've always had, the ability to make people laugh and lighten the mood, even in the darkest of times. 

But it wasn't until recently that I really started to understand how powerful it can be as a coping mechanism, especially when it comes to anxiety. Growing up, I struggled with anxiety and found it difficult to make friends and fit in. Humour was a way for me to connect with others and to express myself. It was a way to break the ice and to start a conversation. 

As I got older, my anxiety didn't go away, it just manifested itself in different ways. But through it all, humour was always a constant for me. It was a way to cope with the anxiety and to make sense of the world around me. 

Recently, I've been working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety and I've been learning about different coping mechanisms. But I've also come to realize that humour will always be a part of who I am and it will always be a valuable tool for me to cope with anxiety. 

Using humor as a defense mechanism is not just about telling jokes and making people laugh, but it's about using it as a tool to cope with anxiety and to make sense of life.

FAWM 2023

 Hey friends!

I just wanted to drop in and share some exciting news with you all - I'm taking on the February Album Writing Month (FAWM) challenge! For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's a songwriting challenge where participants aim to write 14 songs in the 28 days of February. I've always been up for a challenge and I think this is going to be a great opportunity to push myself as a songwriter and see what I'm capable of.

As I gear up for this adventure, I wanted to share some tips that have helped me in the past when getting ready for a songwriting challenge.

First things first, it's all about setting realistic goals for yourself. 14 songs in 28 days is no small feat, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. Instead, focus on the process of writing and creating and enjoy the ride.

Another tip that's helped me is to start gathering inspiration early. This could be watching a movie, listening to a new album, or even taking a walk in nature. The more inspiration you have, the easier it'll be to come up with new ideas and concepts for your songs.

I also like to have a solid writing routine in place. This could mean setting aside a specific time each day to work on songwriting, or having a dedicated writing space. Whatever works best for you, make sure you stick to it as much as possible.

And don't forget about the tools! Having the right tools is key to streamlining the songwriting process. This could mean having a notebook for lyrics, a recording app for demos or a good DAW for composing.

But the most important thing for me is to remember to be open to experimentation and trying new things. Songwriting can be a very personal process, and it's easy to get bogged down by self-doubt or fear of failure. Remember, not every song you write will be a masterpiece, and that's okay. The goal is to have fun and enjoy the process of creating.

So there you have it, I'm all set and ready to take on this challenge. I'm excited to see what I can come up with in the next 28 days and can't wait to share my progress with you all. If you're also participating in FAWM or any other songwriting challenges, I wish you all the best of luck and please feel free to share your own tips and tricks.

Happy songwriting, friends!

Artistic Burnout - some thoughts and advice

 Artistic burnout is something that a lot of us creative types go through. It's when you're just feeling drained, unmotivated and uninspired. It can happen due to a lot of pressure or stress, and it can make it hard to keep creating. And for some of us, we may struggle with repeated episodes of burnout. It can be frustrating and disheartening but the good news is, it's totally possible to bounce back and get back to making art you're proud of.

First things first, it's important to admit to yourself that you're experiencing burnout. It's easy to feel guilty or like a failure when you're not feeling creative, but burnout is a natural response to a lot of stress. Recognizing it is the first step in getting past it.

One of the best ways to recover from burnout is to practice some self-care. It's important to take care of your body and mind if you want to be able to create. This can mean different things to different people, it could be going for a run, meditating, journaling or just taking a walk in nature. Find something that works for you and make it a regular part of your routine.

Another tip is to take a break from creating. It can be hard to step away from something you're passionate about, but sometimes a break is exactly what you need. A vacation, a sabbatical or even just a few days off can give you the time and space you need to recharge.

It's also important to take a look at your goals and values. A lot of the time, burnout can happen when we feel like our art isn't aligning with what we truly want to achieve. Reflecting on what's important to you and what you want to get out of creating can help you refocus and regain motivation.

Lastly, don't be afraid to reach out for support. Talk to friends and family, seek out therapy or counseling, or join an art support group. Having people to talk to and lean on can make a huge difference in getting through a tough time. It's also important to keep in mind that it's not uncommon to experience repeated episodes of burnout, and it's important to have a plan in place and to be proactive in preventing it.

In summary, artistic burnout is common but it's not the end of the road. By acknowledging it, practicing self-care, taking a break, reflecting on your goals, and reaching out for support, you can come out the other side and get back to making art you're passionate about. Remember, recovery takes time and it's important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. Being prepared for repeated episodes of burnout and having a plan in place can help you to better manage it.

Being an independent musician

 Being an independent musician is like being a small business owner, you have total control over your art and how you want to present it, but it also means you have to wear a lot of hats and figure out ways to promote and make a living off your music on your own.

One of the best things about going independent is the creative freedom you get. You get to pick and choose who you want to work with, and you don't have to answer to anyone when it comes to your music. You can experiment and explore new sounds without any pressure from anyone else. This can lead to a more authentic and true-to-you sound that your fans will appreciate.

Another plus side of being an independent musician is the connection you get to make with your fans. When you're not tied to a big record label, you get to interact with your fans directly and build a community around your music. This can lead to a more dedicated and engaged fan base that will stick with you for the long haul.

But, being independent can also be tough. Without the backing of a label or manager, you have to hustle and grind to get your music out there and get people to notice you. It can be a lot of work and takes a lot of time, effort and sometimes money to make it happen. Plus, without the support of a label, it can be hard to make a living from your music alone, and you may need to have a day job to support yourself.

To make it work, you have to be strategic about how you approach things. Building a strong online presence is crucial, you want to be active on social media and make sure you're regularly putting out content that will connect with your fans. Networking with other independent musicians and industry professionals can also be helpful, you can share resources and support each other. And, you have to be open to change and willing to adapt as the music industry evolves.

Being an independent musician is not for everyone, but for those who are willing to put in the work, it can be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. You get to be in charge of your own creative destiny, and you get to build a community of fans who truly appreciate your art.

Creativity and Isolation

 Being creative in isolation can be a challenging task, but it can also be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. The isolation in this case can be self-imposed or imposed by external factors such as a pandemic, a move to a new place, or a change in personal circumstances. Regardless of the cause, being isolated can have both positive and negative effects on one's creativity.

On one hand, isolation can provide a sense of freedom and independence that can be conducive to creativity. Without the distractions and obligations of daily life, one can focus on their craft and explore new ideas and techniques. This can lead to a sense of experimentation and experimentation that can be very beneficial for the creative process.

Additionally, isolation can also help to foster a sense of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. When one is isolated, they must rely on their own resources and abilities to create and produce. This can be a powerful motivator and can lead to a greater sense of ownership and investment in one's work.

On the other hand, isolation can also have negative effects on one's creativity. Without the support and feedback of others, it can be easy to become stuck in a rut or to lose sight of one's goals and objectives. Furthermore, isolation can also lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can be detrimental to both one's mental and emotional well-being.

To overcome the negative effects of isolation, it's important to establish a routine and a schedule for work and play. Setting specific times for creative work and taking regular breaks can help to maintain focus and motivation. Additionally, it's important to find ways to connect with others, whether it's through online communities, virtual workshops, or in-person meetings. This can provide support, inspiration, and feedback that can be essential for the creative process.

Another way to overcome the negative effects of isolation is to find ways to incorporate different forms of inspiration in your work. Inspiration can come from many sources, such as nature, art, music, or even people you meet. It's important to keep an open mind, and be willing to explore different forms of inspiration.

Finally, it's important to remember to be patient with yourself and your work. Creativity is a process, and it can take time to develop and refine. It's important to have patience with yourself and to not be too hard on yourself if you don't produce something great every time.

In conclusion, being creative in isolation can be challenging, but it can also be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. To overcome the negative effects of isolation, it's important to establish a routine and schedule, find ways to connect with others, incorporate different forms of inspiration, and to be patient with yourself and your work. It's important to remember that creativity is a process and it's not always easy, but it's worth it in the end.

Pig Headed - a bizarro short story

 Once upon a time, in a world that was not quite like ours, there was a man named Bob. Bob was a simple man, with simple tastes and a simple job. He worked as a clerk at a convenience store, stocking shelves and ringing up customers. But one day, everything changed.

Bob was on his lunch break, sitting on a park bench and eating a sandwich, when he saw a strange creature walking down the street. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. It had the body of a man, but the head of a pig. Bob rubbed his eyes, thinking it must be a hallucination, but when he opened them again, the pig-headed man was still there.

Without hesitation, Bob got up and followed the creature. He followed it down the street, through alleys, and over bridges, until they came to a door that led underground. The pig-headed man opened the door and gestured for Bob to follow him. Bob hesitated for a moment, but his curiosity got the better of him and he followed the creature down into the depths of the earth.

Bob found himself in a vast underground cavern, lit by a strange green light. The pig-headed man led him through the cavern, and as they walked, Bob saw all manner of strange and bizarre creatures. There were people with the heads of dogs, cats, and birds, as well as creatures that were like nothing he had ever seen before. They were all going about their business, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

As they walked, the pig-headed man introduced Bob to the other creatures, and Bob soon found that they were all quite friendly. They welcomed him to their underground world, and Bob realized that he had found a new home. He quit his job at the convenience store, and soon he too had the head of a pig, and he was happy.

Years went by, and Bob became a respected member of the underground community. He learned the ways of the pig-headed people and the other bizarre creatures, and he even found love in the form of a woman with the head of a snake. They had pig-headed children, and Bob couldn't be happier.

But one day, something strange happened. Bob woke up to find that he was back in the park, on the bench where he had first met the pig-headed man. It was all just a dream, or so he thought. But as he looked down at his hands, he saw that they were now hooves, and he knew that it had not been a dream at all. He had truly found his new home, and he knew that he would never be the same again.

Some thoughts on Bizarro fiction

 Bizarro fiction is a genre of literature that is known for its surreal, absurd, and often grotesque elements. The term "bizarro" was first coined in the late 1990s by author and publisher Eric S. Raymond, and it has since come to encompass a wide range of literature that defies easy categorization. Bizarro fiction can be difficult to define, but it is generally characterized by its embrace of the strange and unconventional, its rejection of traditional narrative structures, and its use of absurdity and absurdity as a literary device.

One of the defining characteristics of bizarro fiction is its embrace of the strange and unconventional. Bizarro writers often use elements of science fiction, fantasy, and horror to create worlds that are not quite like our own, and they often use these elements in unexpected ways. For example, in a bizarro story, a character might encounter a talking tree that speaks in verse, or a city that is built entirely out of candy. These elements are not included to advance the plot or to serve a specific purpose; instead, they are included simply to create a sense of strangeness and otherworldliness.

Bizarro fiction also rejects traditional narrative structures. Bizarro writers often use techniques such as non-linear storytelling, stream of consciousness, and multiple narrators to create a sense of disorientation and confusion. This can make bizarro stories difficult to follow, but it also allows for a greater freedom of expression and a greater sense of experimentation.

Another defining characteristic of bizarro fiction is its use of absurdity and absurdity as a literary device. Bizarro writers often use elements that are bizarre or grotesque to create a sense of unease and disorientation in the reader. For example, a character in a bizarro story might encounter a creature that is half human and half machine, or a city that is inhabited by giant insects. These elements are not included to make sense in a logical way, but to create a sense of unease, disorientation and to challenge the reader's sense of reality.

One of the key themes in bizarro fiction is the idea of the outsider. Many bizarro stories feature characters who are outsiders in one way or another - whether they are outcasts, misfits, or simply people who don't fit in with society's expectations. This theme can be seen as a reflection of the genre itself, which is often seen as being on the fringes of literature.

In conclusion, Bizarro fiction is a genre that defies easy categorization and is known for its surreal, absurd, and often grotesque elements. It embraces the strange and unconventional, rejects traditional narrative structures, and uses absurdity and grotesque as a literary device. It's a genre that allows for a greater freedom of expression and experimentation and often deals with themes of outsiderness and challenging the reader's sense of reality. It's a genre that is not for everyone, but for those who appreciate its unique style, it can be hugely enjoyable.

Revisiting my old material

 Revisiting old musical material can be a powerful and personal experience for any artist. The process of revisiting old songs, albums, and even unfinished demos, unrecorded material, and lyrics jotted down in old notebooks, can bring a sense of nostalgia and remind us of who we were and where we come from as musicians. It can be a reminder of the journey we've been on and the growth we've undergone as artists.

I personally have had the opportunity to revisit old material during my career, whether it be through re-recording songs, playing them live, or simply listening to demos that were never released, revisiting old song ideas and lyrics in my old notebooks. Each time, I've found it to be a valuable and enlightening experience. It's like opening a time capsule and discovering forgotten gems, some of them I felt like they were ahead of their time, some others needed a new approach or production.

One of the reasons I've revisited old material is to reconnect with my past self. When I look back at my old notebooks and see lyrics or song ideas I had written down, I'm reminded of the person I used to be, the emotions I felt and the experiences I've been through. It's a reminder of the journey that I've been on and the growth I've undergone. I've been able to see how my songwriting has evolved and how my perspective has changed. It's helped me to understand the evolution of my art and to appreciate the development of my craft. Revisiting old material has also helped me to reconnect with my roots and where I come from, both musically and personally.

An experiment with flash fiction

 As she walked home from work, Sarah couldn't shake the feeling that she was being followed. She kept turning around, but she never saw anyone. It was a quiet neighborhood, but Sarah couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her.

She picked up her pace, her heart racing. She was almost at her front door when she heard a rustling in the bushes. She turned to see a figure emerge, but it was just a stray cat.

Sarah laughed at herself and let out a sigh of relief. She was just being paranoid. As she unlocked her door and stepped inside, she made a mental note to call her best friend and ask her to walk home with her tomorrow.

But as she turned to close the door, she saw the same figure standing on her porch, a sinister grin on their face. 

Creativity and mental health

 As someone who has struggled with mental illness for much of my life, I've learned that finding healthy ways to cope and manage my symptoms is crucial. For me, one of the most effective forms of self-care has been turning to art and music.

Experimenting with different mediums and styles has been a way for me to express myself and process my thoughts and emotions. Whether it's drawing, painting, writing songs, or playing an instrument, creating something from scratch has always had a therapeutic effect on me.

I've found that the process of creating something – whether it's a finished piece of art or a rough draft – can be incredibly cathartic. It allows me to channel my energy and focus on the present moment, rather than getting lost in my own negative thoughts.

In addition to the personal benefits, I've also found that sharing my art and music with others can be a powerful way to connect and find community. Whether it's through social media or live performances, sharing my creations with others has helped me to feel less alone in my struggles.

If you're someone who is struggling with mental health issues, I highly recommend giving art and music a try. You don't have to be an expert or have any particular talent – the important thing is to find something that brings you joy and helps you to feel more grounded. Who knows, it might just become your go-to form of self-care.

A very short story I wrote a few years ago

 I've been doing some rearranging of my possessions and stumbled across some forgotten notebooks filled with mostly unfinished work. Most of it is embarrassingly bad but I did find this short story. I genuinely can't remember if I ever planned on continuing the story or if it was always going to be this brief, but I do recall it was inspired by a writing prompt I saw on Facebook. 

It doesn't seem to have ever been given a title so I'll just call it Untitled Short Story circa 2018.

...........................................................................................................................

The sun beat down on the dusty road as I trudged forward, my backpack heavy on my shoulders. Sweat dripped down my face and I longed for the cool relief of the river that flowed just out of sight. I had been walking for hours and my feet ached, but I knew I couldn't stop. I had to get to the next town before nightfall. As I walked, my thoughts turned to Maria. I could still see her face, her dark eyes filled with tears as I left. I knew I was breaking her heart by going, but I had to do it. I had to see the world, to feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. I had to know that there was more out there than the small village we had grown up in. Finally, as the sun began to sink below the horizon, I saw the glint of water in the distance. I quickened my pace, my thirst and fatigue forgotten. As I reached the river, I collapsed to my knees and plunged my face into the cool, clear water. It was the most refreshing thing I had ever tasted. As I sat there, drinking my fill, I knew that I had made the right decision. I had left everything I knew behind, but it was worth it for this moment of pure, unadulterated freedom. I knew that no matter what the future held, I would always carry this moment with me, a reminder of the endless possibilities that lay ahead.

Drawing and painting - some thoughts

 Hi everyone,

I've always enjoyed drawing, but recently I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and experiment with different techniques and styles. In addition to trying out new media like pens, markers, and watercolors, I've also been exploring different kinds of art.

For example, I've always been a fan of traditional drawings and paintings, but I've recently started dabbling in digital art. It's been a bit of a learning curve, as I'm used to working with physical media, but I'm loving the flexibility and potential for experimentation that digital art offers. I've also been interested in art forms like sculpture and collage, which are completely new to me. It's been so much fun to try out different materials and techniques, and see how they all come together to create something unique and personal.

Overall, I've learned that experimentation is a crucial part of the creative process. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and keep doing things the same way, but by trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone, I've been able to develop and grow as an artist.

I hope you'll check out some of my recent art and let me know what you think. You can find it on Instagram, Tumblr and Facebook. And if you're an artist yourself, I encourage you to take the time to experiment and try out new techniques and styles. You never know what you might discover!

Barnaby Tremayne 

Some behind the scenes info about Winter Cheer

 Hey everyone,

I wanted to share a little bit about the process of creating my new Christmas album, "Winter Cheer".

One of the things that I love about making music is the ability to experiment and try new things. For this album, I had the chance to do just that. I used a mix of traditional instruments, like guitars and piano, and my rarely used flute, as well as virtual instruments and software to create the sounds and arrangement

One of the challenges of recording a Christmas album is finding a balance between the classic, timeless sound of the holiday season and incorporating more modern production techniques. I think I struck that balance on "Winter Cheer".

For example, on the track "Carol of the Bells," I used a combination of live guitars and virtual instruments to create the backing track. I wanted to capture the energy and excitement of the song, but also maintain that classic holiday sound.

Last Christmas I made a sort of companion to the album. I completely redid the mix of "Silent Night" and added vocals with the help of Marie Ork aka Alter/Ego.

I hope you'll give "Winter Cheer" a listen some time.

Barnaby Tremayne.

Returning to blogging at last?

 Hello everyone!

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog post, and I wanted to take a moment to explain why.

As many of you know, I've been struggling with my mental health for the past few years. It's been a difficult journey, and at times it's felt overwhelming. I've tried a lot of different things to manage my symptoms and find some balance, but it's been a slow process.

One thing that I've learned is that self-care is incredibly important. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and forget to take care of ourselves, but it's so important to make time for rest, relaxation, and doing things that bring us joy.

For me, blogging has always been a source of joy. I love being able to connect with all of you, share my thoughts and experiences, and hopefully provide some entertainment or inspiration. But over the past year or so, I've found it harder and harder to find the time and energy to write. Between work, family, and my own mental health struggles, it's been difficult to prioritise blogging.

But I've missed it. I've missed the creative outlet, the sense of community, and the opportunity to connect with all of you. So I've decided to make the time and effort to get back into it.

I'm not sure how frequently I'll be able to post, or what topics I'll cover. But I'm excited to see where this journey takes me. I hope you'll join me on this new chapter.

Thank you all for your continued support and understanding.

Barnaby Tremayne 

First new release for 2023

 Hey everyone!

I'm excited to announce the release of my new single, "80s Daydream." This song has been a long time in the making, and I can't wait for you all to hear it.

As the title suggests, "80s Daydream" is heavily inspired by the music of the 1980s. From the synths to the drums, this song is a throwback to the era of big hair and neon lights. 

I hope this song brings a little bit of fun and nostalgia into your life. You can check it out on all major streaming platforms, or you can listen to it on my website.

Thank you all for your support. I can't wait to hear what you think of "80s Daydream."

Barnaby J. Tremayne 

Coffee - an essay about my favourite drink

To me, coffee is more than just a drink. It is a ritual, a daily routine that punctuates the day and gives it structure. It is a comforting presence, a warm and familiar friend that is always there when you need it. But coffee is also more than that. It is a fuel, a source of energy and focus that helps us power through our work and our daily lives. It is a pick-me-up, a boost that helps us tackle the tasks ahead. And yet, coffee is also something more elusive, something harder to define. It is a symbol, a representation of our culture and our values. It is a way of life, a way of being that is deeply ingrained in who we are. For true coffee lovers, coffee is all of these things and more. It is a constant presence, a constant companion that is always there to lend a hand, to offer support, and to provide comfort. It is a source of strength and inspiration, a way of connecting with the world around us and finding meaning in the everyday. In short, coffee is more than just a drink. It is a way of life, a way of being that is essential to who we are and how we live. It is a ritual, a routine, and a comfort that we rely on every day. And for that, we should forever be grateful.