On the Periphery of Perception: A Meditative Exploration of Painting Walls

There is something eerily mesmerising about the act of painting walls—a silent meditation that weaves threads of transformation and introspection. As I stand before a bare expanse of white, brush in hand, I am transported into a realm where time slows, thoughts dissolve, and the physicality of the task takes center stage. It is in this realm that I find solace, a momentary respite from the chaos of the outside world. I invite you to accompany me on a reflective journey, delving into the nuances and revelations that arise from the seemingly mundane act of painting walls.

The process begins with careful preparation, an intricate dance of masking tape and drop cloths. Each step, each measured stroke, carries intention and purpose. As I dip the brush into the pale hue, my mind drifts into a state of suspended animation. The familiar scent of paint wafts through the air, mingling with memories of past endeavors. It evokes a certain nostalgia, reminding me of countless rooms transformed, identities reshaped, and emotions laid bare.

There is a certain vulnerability that arises when faced with a blank canvas—a blank wall awaiting the touch of color and imagination. It becomes a mirror, reflecting back the layers of my psyche. I am confronted with my desires for change, for reinvention, and the simultaneous fear of exposing my innermost self. The walls become a metaphorical threshold, a liminal space where the external and internal converge.

As the first brushstroke meets the surface, the energy of creation reverberates through my veins. It is as if I am participating in an ancient ritual—a quiet collaboration between artist and environment. The paint becomes an extension of my being, manifesting the colours of my emotions onto the walls. In each stroke, I release fragments of my past, layers of experiences, and embrace the freedom to recreate my surroundings.

The act of painting walls becomes an act of reclaiming space—of establishing ownership and asserting my presence. With each coat, the room undergoes a metamorphosis, shedding its previous identity and embracing a new narrative. The walls bear witness to this transformation, silently holding the stories and emotions imprinted upon them. They become a testament to the impermanence of our lives, a reminder that everything is transient, and beauty can be found in the transient nature of existence.

Amidst the repetitive motion of brush against wall, my mind wanders, traversing the corridors of memory and contemplation. I find myself questioning the constructs that define us—the invisible boundaries and societal expectations that shape our perceptions. Just as the walls confine and separate, they also have the power to liberate and unify. They carry the weight of history, collective memories, and the echoes of those who have walked before us.

In the solitude of this act, I discover a sense of agency—a reclaiming of control over my environment and, by extension, my own narrative. The walls become a canvas upon which I can project my hopes, dreams, and aspirations. They serve as a reminder that, despite the chaotic world beyond, there exists a space where I can shape my reality, one brushstroke at a time.

And so, as the final stroke completes the symphony of colours, I step back and witness the fruits of my labor. The walls now breathe with new life, infused with my intentions and a profound sense of accomplishment. In this moment, I realise that painting walls is not merely a superficial act of decoration; it is a profound exercise in self-discovery and expression.

Joan Didion once wrote, "We tell ourselves stories in order to live." And as I stand amidst the freshly painted walls, I am reminded that we also paint our walls in order to live. It is an act of self-definition, a tangible manifestation of our desires, fears, and dreams. It is a testament to our resilience, our innate need to create and leave our mark upon the world.

In the periphery of perception, in the stillness between brush strokes, we find ourselves. We are the artists of our own existence, and through the act of painting walls, we reveal the intricate tapestry of our souls—one layer, one colour at a time.

The Secrets of Past Life Regression: Unlocking the Mysteries Within

Have you ever felt a strong sense of familiarity with a place or person you've never encountered before? Or perhaps you've experienced unexplained fears or talents that seem to have no basis in your current life. If so, you may find the concept of past life regression intriguing. It's a fascinating technique that delves into the depths of our subconscious, uncovering hidden memories and unlocking the mysteries of our past lives.

So, what exactly is past life regression? It's a therapeutic method that aims to access and explore the memories and experiences from previous lifetimes that may still be influencing our present lives. Through deep relaxation and focused intention, one can tap into these past life memories, gaining insights and understanding that can bring healing, self-awareness, and personal growth.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: Is past life regression real? While the scientific community may have varying opinions, it's important to approach this technique with an open mind and a willingness to explore the realms of possibility. Whether you believe in literal past lives or consider them as metaphors and symbolic representations, past life regression can offer valuable insights into the patterns, behaviors, and emotions that shape our current existence.

One of the most intriguing aspects of past life regression is the idea of unfinished business. It suggests that unresolved experiences from past lives can carry over into our present life, impacting our relationships, fears, and even our physical health. By accessing these past life memories, we have the opportunity to identify and release these energetic imprints, allowing us to move forward with greater clarity, freedom, and personal empowerment.

So, how does one embark on a past life regression journey? It's essential to work with a trained and experienced regression therapist who can guide you through the process with compassion and expertise. They will create a safe and supportive environment, helping you relax deeply and access the memories stored within your subconscious mind.

During a regression session, you may experience vivid images, emotions, and sensations that transport you to another time and place. You might find yourself speaking in different languages, assuming different roles, or reliving significant events. It's important to remember that each person's experience is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to explore your past lives.

The insights gained from past life regression can be incredibly transformative. They can provide a deeper understanding of your relationships, life purpose, and personal challenges. They can also help you tap into your latent talents, passions, and abilities, as you uncover the wisdom and strengths acquired through previous incarnations.

However, it's crucial to approach past life regression with discernment and self-care. Integration and reflection are key aspects of the process. Take time to process and make sense of the experiences and emotions that arise. Journaling, meditation, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can be invaluable as you navigate the revelations and emotions that may emerge.

Ultimately, the secrets of past life regression lie within you. They offer a window into the vast tapestry of your soul's journey, connecting you to the collective wisdom of humanity throughout time. Whether you view it as a metaphorical exploration or a literal journey into past lives, past life regression can be a powerful tool for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

So, if you feel a deep curiosity or a resonance with the idea of past life regression, I encourage you to explore it further. Embrace the mysteries within and embark on a journey of self-exploration that can open doors to a deeper understanding of yourself and the interconnectedness of all existence. Remember, the past holds secrets waiting to be unveiled, and through regression, you have the opportunity to discover and embrace them.

Why I use multiple types of therapy

 Growing up, I always felt like there was something "off" about me. I struggled to make friends, had trouble understanding social cues, and often found myself feeling overwhelmed and anxious in situations that others seemed to handle with ease. It wasn't until my teens that I was finally diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder.

At first, I was hesitant to seek help. I thought that I should be able to handle my issues on my own, and that therapy was something only "crazy" people did. But eventually, I realized that I couldn't keep going on like this. I was barely able to function on a daily basis, and I knew that I needed to do something to take care of myself.

I started off with traditional talk therapy, which helped me to unpack some of the trauma and negative thought patterns that had been holding me back. But as helpful as it was, I found that I needed more. That's when I began exploring other types of therapy and counseling.

I tried cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helped me to identify and challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that were contributing to my depression and anxiety. I also tried art therapy, which allowed me to express myself in ways that I had never been able to before. Through creating art, I was able to tap into emotions that I didn't even know were there, and to work through them in a healthy and constructive way. 

Throughout my journey with therapy and counselling, I also found solace in creating music. Whether it was writing lyrics or picking up an instrument, music allowed me to express emotions that I struggled to put into words. It became a form of therapy in itself, and I found it helpful to incorporate it into my sessions with my therapists. Music gave me a way to communicate what I was feeling without the pressure of articulating it perfectly, and it allowed me to feel a sense of control over my emotions. I found that incorporating music into my therapy helped me to better understand myself and my experiences, and it gave me an outlet to continue to heal even outside of my sessions.

Another form of therapy I found beneficial was group therapy, which gave me the opportunity to connect with other people who were going through similar struggles. It was a relief to know that I wasn't alone in my experiences, and to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with others who understood what I was going through.

All of these forms of therapy, in addition to medication and lifestyle changes, have helped me to manage my depression, anxiety, and autism. Of course, I still have bad days - but they're becoming fewer and farther between. I'm grateful for the support and guidance that therapy has provided me with, and I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

If you're struggling with mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out for help. It can be scary to take that first step, but it's worth it. There are so many different types of therapy and counseling out there, and it's important to find what works best for you. Don't be afraid to try something new - you never know what might make a difference.

Making a logo for a local Community Cafe

I've been asked to make a logo for a local community café. This is what I've got so far. Quite a lot of work to do but I thought someone might like to see it.

Experimenting with Mixed Media Art

 Hey there, friends! Lately, I've been experimenting with mixed media art during my breaks from songwriting, and let me tell you, it's been an exciting and refreshing change of pace.

As a musician, I'm no stranger to the creative process, but I've found that mixing things up and trying something new can really help keep the juices flowing. It's like hitting the reset button on my brain, you know?

I started out by just messing around with some paper, paint, and whatever else I had lying around, but before I knew it, I was hooked. There's just something about the freedom of expression that comes with mixed media art that's incredibly appealing to me.

One of the things I love about mixed media is that there are no real rules. You can combine colours, textures, and materials in any way that speaks to you. It's a wonderful way to let go of perfectionism and just let the creativity flow.

Recently, I've been working on a piece that incorporates paper, paint, and a few old magazine clippings. It's been a fun challenge figuring out how to bring all these different elements together into a cohesive whole. But even if the end result isn't perfect, I know that the process of creating it has been valuable in and of itself.

In fact, I'm already thinking about how I can incorporate some of the techniques and ideas I've learned from mixed media art into my songwriting. Who knows what kind of creative mashups I'll come up with next?

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit about my latest artistic endeavor. And who knows, maybe some of you will be inspired to try out mixed media art for yourselves! After all, you never know what kind of creative magic might happen when you mix things up a bit.

Last Day of FAWM

 As February draws to a close, I find myself looking back on the past month with a mix of exhaustion and pride. For those who don't know, February is also known as FAWM, or February Album Writing Month. The goal is to write 14 songs in 28 days, and I'm happy to say that I made it, just barely.

It was a wild ride, to say the least. There were days when I had no inspiration, and others when I was bursting with ideas. I wrote about love, loss, hope, and everything in between. Some of the songs flowed easily, while others felt like pulling teeth. But through it all, I kept going, determined to reach the end.

Now that FAWM is over, I'm looking forward to the next step: recording an album. I've decided to call it "672 Hours," after the number of hours in February. It's a fitting title, considering how much time and effort went into creating these songs.

But as proud as I am of my accomplishment, I can't help but reflect on the bigger picture. As someone on the autism spectrum, I know all too well the challenges that come with pursuing creative endeavors. Sensory issues, executive dysfunction, and difficulty with social interaction can all make it harder to stay focused and motivated.

But despite these obstacles, I refused to give up. I found ways to work around my difficulties, whether it was taking breaks when I needed them, using noise-cancelling headphones to block out distractions, or asking friends for feedback and support.

And in the end, it was all worth it. The feeling of accomplishment I get from completing a project like this is indescribable. It reminds me that, despite the challenges, I'm capable of achieving great things.

So here's to all the other FAWMers out there who made it to the end, and to anyone else who's pursuing a creative passion. Keep going, even when it feels like you can't. The end result is always worth it.

Autistic Stimming essay

 Stimming is something that's very personal to me as someone with autism. It's the little movements that I make that help me feel calm and focused. Things like rocking back and forth, tapping my fingers, or making odd little noises. These little motions can make such a big difference in how I feel.

For a long time, I didn't know what stimming was or that it was a common trait among autistic people. I just thought that I was weird or that something was wrong with me. So, I tried to suppress my stimming behavior, thinking it would make me more "normal". But the truth is, suppressing my stimming was really harmful to my mental health. It was like trying to hold back a sneeze, and it only made me feel more anxious and overwhelmed.

It wasn't until I learned more about autism and stimming that I realized how important it is to accept this behavior. Stimming is a natural part of who I am, and it's something that helps me regulate my emotions and sensory input. It's a coping mechanism that helps me feel safe and in control.

It's not always easy, though. Sometimes people can be judgemental or misunderstand my stimming behavior. They might think I'm being weird or rude, when really I'm just trying to stay calm and focused. That's why it's so important to educate others about stimming and autism. When people understand why I stim, they're usually more accepting and supportive.

It's been a long journey, but I'm learning to accept and even appreciate my stimming behavior. It's a reminder that I'm different, but that's okay. In fact, it's something to celebrate. Stimming is a part of my identity as an autistic person, and it's just one of the many things that makes me who I am.