Why "Limes"?
By The Lime Enthusiast (Barnaby Tremayne).
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Confusion in the Citrus Grove
Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round the psychedelic campfire. There's been a cosmic kerfuffle, a zesty riddle that tickles our collective consciousness: Why, oh why, is my latest instrumental opus titled "Limes"? Fear not, fellow stargazers; I shall peel back the layers (pun intended) and reveal the truth—or at least a delightful web of lies.
1. The Quantum Lime Hypothesis
Picture this: I'm strolling through a parallel universe, where limes are sentient beings with PhDs in quantum mechanics. They sip on tiny mojitos, discussing the intricacies of wave-particle duality while jamming on their mini electric guitars. Naturally, they'd name a song after themselves—a psychedelic ode to uncertainty principles and zesty solos.
2. The Interdimensional Lime Rift
Legend has it that there exists a hidden portal between dimensions—a Lime Rift, if you will. When you play "Limes" backward at precisely 3:33 AM during a lunar eclipse, the rift opens. Out pops a lime-shaped spaceship piloted by extraterrestrial lime farmers. They've come to harvest our cosmic vibes, trading them for intergalactic salsa recipes.
3. The Lost Lime Manuscripts
Deep within the archives of the Vatican's secret library lies a dusty tome—the Codex Citrus. Written by medieval monks during their acid-trip sabbaticals, it contains forbidden knowledge about limes. According to one passage, playing "Limes" aligns your chakras, opens your third eye, and grants you the ability to levitate (or at least dance like nobody's watching).
4. The Lime Illuminati
Whispered rumors suggest that the Illuminati—the clandestine organization behind crop circles, chemtrails, and avocado toast—has a secret branch: the Lime Illuminati. Their mission? To control the world's lime supply, ensuring that only the juiciest, most harmonious limes make it into our margaritas. "Limes" serves as their anthem, encoded with subliminal messages about global lime domination.
5. The Lime of Destiny
In ancient Mayan prophecy, a cosmic lime rolls down the celestial pyramid, triggering a psychedelic apocalypse. When the stars align (preferably in the shape of a lime wedge), "Limes" will play, and humanity will ascend to a higher plane of existence. Brace yourselves, fellow lime-lovers—we're about to transcend into a dimension where everyone wears tie-dye and communicates solely through tambourine solos.
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And now, my fellow travellers, the moment you've all been waiting for: "Limes" will be available on all streaming platforms starting June 14th. Tune in, turn on, and let the lime-infused vibes wash over you like a cosmic mojito. 🍋🌌✨
*Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are purely fictional and fueled by copious amounts of limeade. Please consult your local fruitologist before attempting any interdimensional travel.* 🛸🌿🎸
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